Living life on purpose, pulls you forward. Being pulled forward is a drawing, a compelling sense of direction that you choose to follow.
Living life by default, gives you the feeling of being pushed. Being pushed feels like a lot of unnecessary work, creates friction, and most times, the only way to stop being pushed….is to step out of the way.
When you step out of the way, you can then choose to live life on purpose by moving from being pushed to being pulled or drawn. How? By choosing to be YOU on purpose.
Taking the time to do some digging into who you were created to be, will give you the information and the assurance you need to move forward by choice. Choosing to discover your God-given gifts and talents will allow you to partner those with the skills you have acquired, and live a life that is much easier, with less friction.
And here’s the cool part. Even when times are hard, when resistance is present, and you are faced with difficulties that seem too hard to bare…you can look up with hope, and look within with confidence. You can find that calling for you, forward. You can find the gifts He has given you that will not fade away. You will be drawn forward in spite of, and through these times…still, with a peace that you have chosen to live life on purpose.
So, what’s the first step?
- Choose to be YOU on purpose.
Isn’t that a great feeling? You betcha!
Don’t worry. Step 2 is coming! For now, your mantra is “I choose to live life on purpose. I choose to be me, on purpose!”
Now repeat that with a smile on your face.
I invite your thoughts here.
Tags: confidence, Deni Carruth, gifts, life on purpose, mantra, purpose, talents
Tonight in my women’s ministry small group, I talked to them about obstacles. Well…actually, I not only talked to them, I showed them. How? With obstacle courses!
I gathered up 6 cones and an agility ladder (if you know anything about sports or sports training, you know what I mean), and we headed off toward my neighborhood park.
The ladder was laid out, and the cones, I set up in a pattern. The goal was to get through the ladder (obstacle) in a certain fashion, then continue on maneuvering around the cones (obstacles) in another fashion. They both looked at me as I demonstrated exactly how it could be done, as if to say, “You’re joking, right? You want ME to do THAT?”
They did it. Not perfect, but with determination. Again, and again, and again. Why? Because they didn’t think they had a choice.
Then I’d demonstrate another way to go through the ladder and around the cones. They did it. Not perfect, but with determination. Again, and again, and again. Why? Because they didn’t think they had a choice.
Then I moved the cones into another pattern. Through the ladder I went with more difficult foot work. Around the cones, this direction, that direction, sprint, shuffle…Same thing. They did it. Not perfect, but with determination. Again, and again, and again. Why? Because they didn’t think they had a choice.
In reality, time after time they chose to not have a choice. Interesting, huh?
In life, we have obstacles. They are foreign to us. They look impossible to maneuver. We don’t think we can make it through. We’re not sure we’ll make it. We don’t think we have a choice.
When the ladies were done (and believe me, there was so much more!), as I was packing up for our walk back, I asked them how they felt. “Awesome!”
Nuff said.
Tags: choice, Deni Carruth, determination, obstacles, obstacles in life
Recently, I spoke with a coaching client about goal setting. We discussed the importance of goals and visions, and how it’s important to be “big” enough to step outside our comfort zone. Admit it or not, this can be a scarey place sometimes. Why? Because in every case, there’s change involved. At the very least, there must be a change in your thought process.
Now, just because I said “At the very least…” doesn’t mean that changing your thought process is a small thing. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Changing your thought process is HUGE! And, it’s the first thing that must happen.
You see, when you merely change what you say, how long will that last? Until some doubting thoughts creep in? If you change only what you do, is it sincere? Do you really mean it? Can you sustain those actions in tough times?
“So, Deni,” you say, “well, is ‘Think outside the box’ the same information, just phrased differently?Well, thinking outside the box IS changing your thought process….or is it? Hmmm. Now you’re confused.
Here’s the deal. You must not only think outside the box, but you must also change how you think things will turn out. Then believe it can happen that way. Speak it as if it is so. Do what it takes to achieve.
Let’s review:
“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.” – Michelangelo
So, my question to you is this: Are you READY to think bigger than you have before? Are you prepared to AIM higher than you normally do? Isn’t it time to feed the FIRE inside you that burns for you to be a VICTOR? (Okay….that’s 3 questions.)
I believe….
…it’s time.
I’m here for you!
Deni
P.S. I invite your thoughts and comments.
This weekend at a women’s event at my church, I met some wonderful ladies. We had several opportunities to talk during the slow times while we were volunteering. I believe some great friendships seeds were planted.
As we grow older it seems like we have fewer friends, but one thing is for sure…our pleasure in them grows. According to Stanford psychology professor, Laura Carstensen, the reason is because: “People become more selective and get better at knowing the kind of people they like and don’t like. And they steer away from those they don’t care for.”
I look for a lot of the same qualities in friends as I did when I was (much) younger. But I have noticed that I’m more selective, and tolerate less “stuff” than I did back then. So I guess I agree with Professor Carstensen.
How about you? What are your friendships like today?
Thought: If friends are gifts we give ourselves, is it possible to be too generous? I invite your comments.
Blessings,
Deni
As I personally dig deeper into discovery, development and purpose, I see one thing that stands out on my path. Change.
Some change is small, you know, like your “2 cents worth.” Some change is great, sort of like the “almighty buck.” Either way, I must embrace it. I will learn and grow from it.
Now for the shocker: Some people don’t believe in change for themselves.
What?
I know! Me too!
They don’t believe in self-development, self-growth, purpose, discovery….nothing that could possibily suggest the slightest nudge of possibility that maybe, just maybe…..there could be change on their path.
“Not even 2 cents worth?” you ask. Nope….not even 2 cents.
To them, change is all about the other person. And change is good enough for the other person. But it’s simply not on their personal agenda. What are these people thinking?
I believe it’s because, to them, it means that there’s something wrong with them. Change is “the enemy.” Change is negative. To them, change could mean that they could be less than what they think or say, or others think or say they are. The possibility of change puts them in defense mode. This is so sad to me, because I believe these are they who are missing out on a huge portion of life. Huge.
Not only that, and they probably aren’t aware of this, but others know that they aren’t too snuggly with change.
Remember the TV show, The Twilight Zone? Well, in the into, they say, “The signpost up ahead reads….The Twilight Zone.” Well, to the people that discount change, “The signpost up ahead reads…..Change.” Pretty spooky to them. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
I say, look change in the eye. Go on. Grab hold. Embrace it. Give it a squeeze. Now, step into your path, and move forward full steam ahead. That’s my 2 cents, on your almighty buck.
What about you? Got change?
“People who embrace change and remain flexible have better outcomes.” Thomas Leonard
Here’s to your better outcomes! Let me know what’s ahead for you.
Blessings!
Deni
Tags: Change, Deni Carruth, development, discovery, purpose, self-discovery
Ever wonder why some are content with their choices, or if not, choose to do something different? It’s because they view choice as something they ‘do’ not something that is done to them.
Choice is powerful, and a power given to us since the beginning. Many times we don’t like the consequences of our choices, and it’s at that time that we look at others, pass blame and show bitterness. Bitterness can lead to unforgiveness, which cannot be present with love.
I choose to bring the peace and love of God into every experience I have, everyday. I choose to be around those who add to my life and not take away. I choose to add to the life of others, and multiply their joy. I choose to honor my values and honor those who are honorable. I choose to give thanks first everyday, and live in gratefulness. I choose to live life outloud and look for joyful possibilities.
What do you choose? Please share your thoughts here.
Tags: choice, Deni Carruth, gratefulness, life, love, peace, unforgiveness
Most people feel they are capable of a life that is far more enriching then the one they are currently living. Good thing, right?
BUT, they don’t know how to get it. They just can’t seem to tap into that “promise.”
The truth is our success in life is in direct proportion to:
our clarity of purpose
our level of passion
the dept of our belief
and the authenticity and consistency of our action.
Studies have revealed time and time again that high performers in life all have a clear vision and goal of what they want.
To achieve anything, you must know what it is that you want. And to get clear on what you want, you must first create it in your mind. You must first create your own vision.
Remember, your future is built in your mind first, then once you have a plan and you take the actions steps to carry out your plan, only then does it start to materialize in your physical world.
The mental, then the physical; the mind, then the body.
What are you waiting for?
Deni Carruth, VICTOR Life Coach
http://www.masterkeyscoaching.com/sq
Tags: belief, Deni Carruth, enriched life, life vision, passion, purpose, vision
Everywhere you turn, people are talking about their strengths, and weaknesses. Recently I heard someone referred to them as strengths and “the dark side.” Whoa! I know we’re just past Halloween, but dark side?
To call it their “dark side” sounds pretty dramatic and negative to me. Sounds like a skeleton in their closet, or dark family secret.
I prefer to call it their challenges. To call them challenges allows them to see how this is something they can work through, rather than run from.
One of the first things I do with a client is assessments. I use three different profiles (or I like to term them “mirrors” or self-awareness tools), one of which is Strength Finder. But I love using the others as well because they collectively allow for an honest reflection of the client for themselves (and for me as their coach).
One assessment that I use lists strengths and “challenges” which is more realistic. It allows the client to see how they can sometimes operate from their challenges rather than their strengths. This can be an area that allows them to be less of who they feel they really are, and can therefore challenge them. Many times this is a result of physical fatigue or mental stress. Obviously, this inhibits them from achieving their highest potential at any given time.
Is it possible to overuse a strength to the point that it becomes a challenge? You betcha!
During the coaching process we constantly keep this in check. Let me show you what I mean.
Example: One of my strengths is “passionate.” My challenge for that would be “emotional.” If I think or say this is my “dark side” it sounds like something to be ashamed of or that I should hide. If I know that it’s a challenge, it’s something I don’t always want to work from (although emotion has it’s great points/times), but something I can always work through.
Another point here is that when I see that I’m doing something from my challenge of emotional, sometimes it only takes a very small step to allow me to then move forward from passionate. This will allow for both optimal performance and authentic outcomes as well.
This small step is doable, inviting and inspiring!
Can you feel the difference here? I’d love to hear from you.
Tags: assessments, challenges, coaching, coaching process, profiles, self-awareness tools, Strength Finder, strengths, stress, weaknesses
In a recent post on one of my LinkedIn groups, there was reference to an article about entrepreneurs “losing their passion” when real business challenges surface, and they become discouraged. Below is the response I posted. What do you think?
“Very interesting, Kellie. I would believe that if they “lose” their passion, then it’s not really passion, but excitement. There’s a HUGE difference between being excited about something, and having a passion for it.
Your passion is what drives you everyday as you live out your mission. The end result is the vision you have for your business and life. If you “lose” your passion….what do you have to carry out your activities everyday?
To lose one’s passion would raise the question for me as a coach, “Did your mission statement (that is built around your passion) come from a place of authenticity, something that is unique to you, OR was it influenced by people and “things” around you?
Because if it was the latter, then, yes, if those things change, many times the excitement changes. Their passion should stand! Woo-hoo!”
Tags: business challenges, Deni Carruth, entrepreneur, mission, mission statement, passion, passion for business, vision
Are your dreams only vague ideas with no real plan to accomplish them?
Having a clear vision of what you want is the hallmark of every form of high achievement. One thing is for sure – you will accomplish more in life if you create a visual picture of what you want (first).
Having dreams and goals is directly related to our fulfillment and our success in life, but they are useless if we don’t follow through on them. To achieve anything, you must know what it is that you want. And to get clear on what you want, you must first create it in your mind. You must first create your own vision.
I used this very technique when I was going through chronic pain treatment. I had to see myself “whole.” My doctor asked me if I considered myself a visual person, and if I ever “saw” myself.
Yes.
He then said, “When you see yourself, what do you see?” I told him I saw myself running, to which he replied, “Then you will.”
Visioning is the process of creating that clear, very detailed picture in your mind of what you want for all aspects of your life – health, finances, relationships, career…all aspects. Visioning uses both mental and physical tools of your mind and body, such as your thoughts and actions, to create and realize your goals. I call this “Training the mind to train the body ™” and not just in the physical, but in life in general.
With visioning, you tap into your very core and create a future vision of what you want for your life. Then, once you have a vision, you plan out the steps necessary to reach it, to make it happen. This helps you to stay focused and eliminate the distractions that will hold you back or take you off course. And if they do happen, having your vision brings you back to that place of forward movement to achieve it.
In my treatment, I had to go from an outpatient program, to their full intensive program to stay focused and limit everyday distractions. My life between treatments was preventing me from making big steps forward. It sort of held me back. But because I had my vision of my life being whole again before me, it was easy to make the decision to do the intensive program. I needed to stay on track. I needed consistent forward movement to achieve my goals.
With your vision alive at the forefront of your mind, everyday, you will stay centered on the right road that will lead to your specific destination.
Do you have a clear vision and course of action for your future?
I invite your comments and questions here.
Tags: action, action plan, Deni Carruth, dreams and goals, future, goals, vision, visioning
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